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What she wants to try tonight

If you’re like most dudes, you have upwards of 2.5 moves in the sack that you feel pretty confident in and can do in your sleep -- literally. Your gal, however, needs more than your limited arsenal to please her the way she deserves to be pleased. Being a chick, she likely will not tell you what she wants you to try, but will assume you know what she wants you to try. Such is the conundrum us guys live with every day. Well, this is your lucky day, because MadeMan is here to break down some of the things she wants you to try. Use it for good. Or evil. Whichever works.
Try Breaking the Normal Routine
Men are creatures of habit, so it really isn’t your fault that you follow a paint-by-numbers routine in bed. It’s in your nature. Unfortunately for men, the ladies like something called variety. You are probably asking, ‘what is this variety you speak of?’ In the bedroom, it’s something other than stumbling in, being the best missionary you can be for all of three minutes, then finishing off some Spam before drifting away to dreamland. If you always start the same way every time you sex her up, you have no variety, Dude. So go opposite. If you normally zig, then start zagging. Normally go left? Go right, Son. If you throw something new at her and she’s still expecting the same old boring you, she might get the Big O just from the change of pace. Either that or she will suspect you are cheating on her and are practicing your new moves on her.
Try Traveling
Nothing rocks a world like traveling. How many times have you covered more than one or two rooms while showing your ladyfriend a good time? Likely the answer is MAYBE once. Starting in one room, then moving to the -- we’ll call it the ‘party room’ -- is about as fancy as most guys get. What chicks would like to see is taking the whole show on a trip around the house/hotel/brothel. She also wants you to stay in control during this guided tour. Simply guiding her from room-to-room by the hand will kill the mood quicker than your old boring routine. She wants you to ‘take’ her from room-to-room and don’t tell her ahead of time where she is headed.
Try Standing
Standing. The revolutionary sex position. There are some fancy names for standing positions, but we’re too lazy to look them up in our worn copy of the Kama Sutra. What standing means for you? Bonus points. It’s something she’s been wanting you to try for a long time because of the different stimulation she receives, it’s something new (read: she can pretend you are someone else), and it is not routine. The standing positions vary, as we are sure your dad told you about when he had ‘the talk’ with you, and chicks want them all. Face-to-face, behind, and other cool positions we don’t even know about yet. Get on your feet. She’ll thank you for it in the morning.
Try Talking To Her
Whether she talks to you during sex or not is a moot point, because she definitely wants you to talk to her. She wants you to try and bring her to the point of no return using your wordsmith ways -- complemented by your sexual prowess, of course. The sex talk list depends on what type of girl you are with. It can range from just verbally boosting her on a pedestal, to the naughty unprintable stuff. Understanding what she might want if part of your job, although it can at times be impossible to know. If you are unsure what level of talk she wants, start off in the safe zone and build upon her reaction to it. Our guess if she will want ‘the works’. Because all chicks are naughty that way.
Try Spending Time on Her
You’re just happy someone is willing to allow you access to their goods, and this usually leads you to getting your rocks off while attempting to give her a couple minutes of semi-pleasure. What she’d love for you to try is HER. Take a step back from what you need and spend some time ensuring she is satisfied before you proceed getting your satisfaction on. Massaging works. Like, a full body massage. As does using your flapper for more than trash talking about fantasy football. There’s not a woman on earth that doesn’t want you to do this. You probably already do this on occasion, but what she wants is some lingering. Take your time on her. Trust us. That’s what she’s thinking as soon as she enters the bedroom.
Try the Unspeakable Stuff
She’s adventurous, right? Or at least curious. She wonders about the things the kids are raving about and she wants you to try them. But she doesn’t want to bring them up for fear you will react adversely. You know, like calling her a whore and stuff. There are several things in this category she wants you to try and we will let you pick and choose which ones to employ. But you know what we’re talking about. Things that could get you arrest in the 50’s. We say, what was yesterday’s arrest is today’s bedroom pastime. That’s just one of many wise things we say on a daily basis.

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13 Ways to Ruin a Date

I think we all know by now that ruining a date is no difficult task. But perhaps by looking at a solidified list of the sorry scenarios you're accidentally getting yourself into, you'll be able to steer clear of such shocking, unfortunate instances in future courting.

What never to say

Because the majority of your dates will most likely involve a meal, which leaves a gaping hole of time just asking to be filled with conversational errors, it's most important to watch your mouth. Here are some tips of subjects never to touch on.

#1 Your ex

She already hates your ex. She hates that you even opened your eyes and saw women before you met her. Unfortunately, she's always desperately curious about your romantic past and, therefore, won't shut you up if you're silly enough to bring it up. She will, however, still hate you for it.

#2 Your mom

While some women love men that love their mothers, it's a dodgy subject and a thin line. When first getting to know someone, unless it's just a quick mention of your mother's unimportant role in a story, don't bring her up. You can be all too easily categorized as a mama's boy who may not know how to cook for himself, clean his own clothes and cut his own hair (NOTE: It does not matter if these things are true, so long as she does not know it).

#3 Your financial problems

Yes, it's a tough time for nearly everyone we know and it makes for a good conversation starter at a bar. But not at a restaurant with a woman you'd like to take home. While she may not be snooty or inconsiderate or even judge you negatively for your current lack of funds, it's best to avoid a conversation as controversial as this, considering a woman wants to feel that she (and the bill) will be taken care of.

#4 Stories about strippers

Even if you've come up with the most ingenious way of engaging in a wild sexual experience (http://www.mademan.com/how-facilitate-threesome/) or have the most entertaining sexual escapade to share, DON'T. Not until you've felt out her vibe enough to notice if she's the kind of chick who can dig off the fly, bizarro anecdotes. Most women do not get a kick out of strippers, hard as that may be for you to believe.

#5 Too much mention of brodeo

If you're at a dinner with a new lady and the topics of conversation keep returning somehow to this hilarious thing your best friend did or the way you spent some several weekends with your closest dudes, watch out. This might signal to your date that you're in "man-love" with your homeboys and, therefore, imply that she'll be in tight competition. Women cannot stand being pitted against the group of bro's, so try to tone down the man-to-man love for the dinner's duration.

#6 Family baggage

Family problems, insecurities, instances and traumas are likely a big part of a lot of people's lives. We all keep a collection of stories that have deep emotional significance in our personal lives. HOWEVER, nothing says "Run!" to a new woman like an overbearing confession concerning torrid pasts and tortured souls. Try to keep the conversation light for at least for the first few meetings, so she doesn't feel like she's walking into a death trap of dead-end problems.

#7 Awkwardly complimenting

In the heat of the moment, when a pretty woman is sitting across from you, staring back expectantly, it's often easy to get jelly mouth and have your tongue betray you. For this reason, try to stick to pretty standard compliments if you're looking to flatter your female. Something like "That's a beautiful dress, by the way," or "I really like how your hair looks like that," is perfectly tempered. A woman just wants to know that you're noticing her. This is enough to get her in the mood to pay attention to you, without giving you opportunity to screw it up by scrambling for poorly arranged phrases.

#8 What she's eating

Obviously, at a dinner, it's known that people ask "What are you getting?" or "How's your food?" - and this is entirely appropriate. What is not appropriate, however, is making some seemingly unloaded comment about how much your date is eating, why she ordered a salad instead of a steak, or pestering her about her decision to be a vegetarian. Women are insecure. The end. Don't address their dinner in these ways while they're eating it, or they'll be gone before even thinking about ingesting another bite.

What never to do

It's officially fact that men and women are alien species to each other and that our behavior is therefore mismatched at many moments. Thus meaning, something you do on a date that you would not interpret as being awfully offensive, may immediately imply not-so-awesome things to her. So, after watching your mouth, you'll need to (at least mildly) monitor your male instincts.

#9 Picking the wrong place from the start

If you don't know what "kind of gal" you're taking out (meaning, whether she's a sports bar kind of chick or a ritz gala kind of lady), then try to shoot for something pleasantly in the middle. A nicely upscale, but none too fancy restaurant will do just fine. If you're at all interested in having this date go someplace other than the restaurant, you'll need to make sure the dinner experience is so wonderful that she can only assume what comes next will follow accordingly.

#10 Eying your waitress

Sure, sometimes it's good to tease a woman's interest by subtly showing her that you're attractive to other women. But, on a date, this is not the right way to get her excitably envious. It is, however, the right way to get her super excited to slap you in the face (unfortunately, in the non-kinky way).
#11 Forcing her to dance
Some women have absolutely no confidence in their fancy feet, no matter how drunk or desirable they (or you) are. So while it may be a cute thing that leading, charming men do in movies, grabbing a girl and forcing her to hop up and jive despite her flailing arms and big cringe, let's leave it to the movies for now. You may cause your date serious humiliation, which will immediately close the door to your post-dinner potential.

#12 Answering your phone

I don't care if you're the CEO of a fortunate 500 or the biggest club promoter in Hollywood, do not pick up your cell phone at a dinner table if you're intending to get laid. Women love nothing more than uninterrupted attention. So, turn off your phone entirely, because even if she sees you look at the screen and ignore the call, she'll assume it's another girl. And oh boy, you can only imagine how bad things get from there.

#13 Ordering for her

At this point in the 21st century, we would all hope that this one is common sense, but sometimes, in an effort to capture old-fashioned chivalrous behavior, men slip up here. Don't order for her unless it's a bottle of something fantastic at the dinner's beginning that you've already cleared with her taste buds. There are other ways to be chivalrous and charming (http://www.mademan.com/get-her-dinner-bed/) that are better appreciated and, therefore, better rewarded.

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