Dating & Relationships

It’s almost that time of the year again…Valentine’s day. It’s silently expected from your girl that you do something special for her, something to show her how much you love her. But what do you do for Valentine’s day this year?

Personally I think that Valentine’s day, Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have become way too commercialized. It is stamped into your mind by social conditioning that you need to spend money on these days to show people that you care about them.

What happened to, ‘The best things in life are free’? Love is totally independent from material cost or possessions. I’m sure that you’d much rather spend the day taking a walk on the beach with the person you love than getting a $5000 watch from them while they’re too busy to see you. (I bet some of you will say you’d rather have the watch but in that case it’s not really love).
Valentines Day Ideas

Valentines Day Ideas

This brings me back to my main point. It’s Valentine’s day, and what do you do for your girl?
I was thinking of some things that I could do, like:

Booking a night in a luxurious hotel room for $200+ or booking a night in a spa hotel for $600+. Heck, you could even take her out for a fancy dinner which will likely cost you around $80 or more.

I think that you should do something special for your girl on Valentine’s Day, but it doesn’t necessarily have to cost you a lot of money. Often the most memorable and meaningful gifts are ones that are handmade or gifts that offer experiences (like a picnic on the beach at sunset).




57 Valentines Day Ideas



I’ve written all of these ideas from the perspective of guy to girl, but ladies, of course you can use any one of these ideas to make your man’s Valentine’s Day special too.



Pack a Picnic

Whether you just go for a lunch in a park or do a romantic evening picnic on the beach at sunset, the idea is that you get to spend quality time together, chat, laugh an enjoy great food.




Cook Her Dinner

This is really special if you hardly ever cook. Get a tasty recipe with all her favorite food and cook it at home for her. Add candles and a couple of roses and you’re set! (If you can’t cook you might want to practice the recipe before the actual day).





Play Her A Song (Yourself)

Imagine being able to play your girl’s favorite song on piano or guitar. She’ll be crazy about you!
Even if you have no musical experience, if you have the instrument it’s not that hard to learn a single song. Just search on Youtube for a tutorial and you will find dozens of videos that teach you note for note how to play the song you are looking for. Depending on the song you can learn to play it with a couple of hours of practice.





DVD Night With Sweets

It’s kind of cliche really, but still fun. Hire a couple of DVD’s (romantic comedy/drama get bonus points), pack your fridge full of cake, chocolate and her favorite sweets and enjoy an evening of cuddling and fun.





Under The Stars

Do you live in a place where you can see the stars at night? Then find a place where you can safely and privately relax, pack a blanket and cooler box with champagne and spend some romantic time under the stars together.





Flowers and Candles

This is also very cliche but your girl will still love it. Beautiful flowers or the bed covered in rose petals. Lots of candles around the bedroom. Let her come home and lead her into the bedroom like that and it’ll be a perfect Valentine’s day for her.





Take Her Dancing

If you know how to dance then this is an especially nice thing to do for V-day. Whatever your style of music (salsa, jazz, ballroom), if you can find a nice restaurant or club where youc an dance slowly and romantically she’ll love it!





Give Her a Massage

Not just a short 5 minute massage but a to-die-for massage. Learn the proper technique, get massage oils and lotions and pamper her for at least an hour or even two.





Scavenger Hunt

Plan an adventure with clues and little rewards leading up to a big treasure. This can be done in your house but also outside in the city or forest. If you’re feeling creative this could be a lot of fun.





Rent a Hotel Room

Even if the hotel is right next door to where you live, the whole luxury thing makes the day and night seem like a perfect romantic getaway. I know it’s expensive and you should only do this if you can afford it and because you really want to do it. Don’t do this just because it’s Valentine’s day.
Make Her a Mixed Tape

Well, in today’s time it’ll be a mixed CD. Get all her favorite songs and some of the most romantic songs of all time and compile it on a CD that you’ll give to her and play on the day at your place.
Look deep into his/her eyes with love and say ‘I Love You’

You may never have said it before or may you be so used to saying ‘I love you’ that it has lost meaning. If you really love your partner then say ‘I love you’ this time like it counts.
Take her out for a long drive at night.

Whether it be on a scenic drive out into the country or right through the heart of the city, a long drive with just the two of you can be incredibly intimate.
Plan a dinner out with your loved one.

It can be at a fancy restaurant, a posh place with a view or even some hippie joint with great food. If you want to make it really special, go to the place where you had your first dinner date together.
Surprise her.

Give her the dress or shoes she left at the store because there was no money or it just seemed like too much at the time.
Give her a plant.

Pot a plant in her garden which will grow up and remind her of you everyday, she crosses the garden.
Send her romantic love quotes.

You can give her a book, you can write a page, you can record a video. Give her a selection of romantic love poems that you think apply to her and your relationship together.
Give her a CD with pictures.

Make a selection of all the best pictures you’ve taken in your time together. This will be an amazing memory and very thoughtful from your side. Ladies, if you want to surprise your man, make him a CD with lots of naughty pictures of yourself.
Arrange a pool party for her at night.

Find a private pool you can use or rent at night. Make sure there are lights under water, and place candles all around the pool.


Go Clubbing

There’s nothing wrong with some wild partying and clubbing on Valentines day. Just the two of you, go out and have fun. You can even pretend like it’s the first time you’re meeting each other and flirt and roleplay.
Sexy Times

If you want to appear wild, give her red, hot lingerie. She can put it on for you right away.
Fake Stay-Away

Surprise her by saying that you won’t be in the city but convince her to stay in that night. Show up at her door with dinner and a movie.
Breakfast in Bed

Serve a breakfast in her bed in the morning of Valentine’s Day. Add her favorite dishes to it.
Perfume

It might be cliche, but personally I can never get enough of my favorite perfume/cologne.Gift a perfume which she loves.
Baths & Spas

Women love to have romantic baths and spas. Make her both, especially with scented soaps, floating candles and message oils.





A Simple Card

Make a valentine’s Day card, full of the feelings you have for your valentine.
Home-Made Movie

If you’re any good with video editing you can make a very special and meaningful gift by combining and editing footage of her and of the two of you. This is really where you can get creative.





Take Her Shopping

All girls love shopping. Tell her you want to spoil her and let her choose whatever she wants. This may be very expensive so be sure that you can afford it (or tell her how much she can spend)
Photographs Are Forever

Print the best pic of both of you and give her a pretty photo frame with your photograph.





Write Her A Poem

Write a poem for her though you do not know how to write. She will love it.
Stick With The Theme

Arrange every moment of the day in the theme of love and hearts.
Burn Baby, Burn

Light a small bonfire at night and feel the warmth of each other around it.
Share a Laugh

Write some love words on craziest things like toilet paper, napkins which can be scented too. Make her laugh.
Jewelery

Buy her some romantic jewelery like a necklace or bracelet etc. You can engrave her name or a romantic message into the jewelery if you like.





Outsource A Musician

Take a group of musicians to her house who can sing romantic chorus for both of you.
Basket of Goodies

You can make a basket fill of little goodies and things your partner needs daily (like body sprays, lotions etc.).
Lipstick Love

On her mirror, write in lipstick, ‘I love you’. Be sure not to use her most expensive lipstick, she might not appreciate that.
Give Her A Day Off

Do her household job or chores for the day so that she can have the day off to do what she wants.
Get a Tattoo

Get a tattoo that’s symbolic of your love for her. I’d be careful getting her name tattooed, but if you’re absolutely 100% certain that she is the one for you, then go for it.
Be Adventurous

Go camping or for an adventure trip on this Valentine’s Day. How about bungee jumping or sky-diving?
Give her a manicure and a foot massage

If you know what you’re doing, make her feet pretty and give her the most relaxing foot-massage in the world.
Boardgame Love

Play scrabble, chess, act like teens, using ‘love’ words as many as you can.





Lead The Way

Leave a trail of rose petals from door of her room to the nearby part where you have arranged champagne and lit candles with romantic music.
Make a Donation

Donate to a charity or noble cause in her name. If she’s the kind of girl that will appreciate that then this can be a very meaningful Valentine’s Day gift.
Engrave Your Love

Carve your names in a heart on a tree. This way a symbol of your love for each other will be around for longer than your time on earth.
Romantic Cleaning

Secretly was her car and decorate it with hearts and flowers. Leave her a romantic note under the windscreen wiper.
Puzzle Love-Letter

Write her a love letter and cut the letter into jigsaw puzzle pieces that she needs to put together before she can read it.
A Formal Invitation

Make her an invitation letter, very attractive, decorated and romantic, inviting her to celebrate Valentine’s Day with you.
Romantic Reading

Hide some heart shaped bookmarks in her books and magazines.
Be An Artist

Draw a silly (or pretty) picture of both of you and write ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ on it.
Publicize Your Love

Publish your love story in the personnel column of the local newspaper.Celebrate your Valentine on social networking sites like Facebook. Make profile of your partner special. Post some lovely message.
Visit a Church

Visit church for praying and remaining together, or even just for being thankful for life. If you’re someone who never goes to church then this may be really special.
Arrange Tickets For Her Favorite Rock Star Concert.

If you’re lucky enough to have a cool concert playing close to or even on Valentine’s day, take her there and enjoy the music together.
Give Her A Gift That Will Remind Her Every Month

Gift a monthly subscription of favorite website of magazines that he/she usually read.
Give Her Your Favorite Cologne

Give her your cologne, even if it’s half-used. This way when she misses you she can still smell your favorite scent and be reminded of you.
It’s In The Stars

Give her a love horoscope that describes your wonderful future with together with her.





Be Anonymous

Send her gifts without a sender’s name on it. Flowers, chocolates. You can even have them delivered to her work address during the day.

Is long distance love possible?

Can a love overcome mountains, oceans and thousand of agonizing miles? If we were to ever find our true love, our solemate, on a different continent, can it be our destiny to be together? How can the longing of two lovers hearts surpass the many, many obstacles presented by such a situation? Is true love stronger than anything put before it?

Two cultures, the highest mountains, the deepest seas and the longest miles may separate two hearts, but only time can tell if the hearts are to be together forever...

Miles and miles and miles apart.
Although so far you've touched my heart.
Your laugh, your voice, your adoring smile,
Seem to shorten every mile.

I wake every morning and rest at night,
My thoughts and dreams filled with your sight.
Oh how I wish, even for one night,
I could hold your hand and you hold mine tight.

Not just a little briused or battered,
When I think of the distance it's completely shattered.
We'll never give up or say goodbye.
Remember together, the moon in the sky.
Your heart's a part of me and mine of you.
With that alone, we shall not be blue.Is long distance love possible?

Can a love overcome mountains, oceans and thousand of agonizing miles? If we were to ever find our true love, our solemate, on a different continent, can it be our destiny to be together? How can the longing of two lovers hearts surpass the many, many obstacles presented by such a situation? Is true love stronger than anything put before it?

Two cultures, the highest mountains, the deepest seas and the longest miles may separate two hearts, but only time can tell if the hearts are to be together forever...

Miles and miles and miles apart.
Although so far you've touched my heart.
Your laugh, your voice, your adoring smile,
Seem to shorten every mile.

I wake every morning and rest at night,
My thoughts and dreams filled with your sight.
Oh how I wish, even for one night,
I could hold your hand and you hold mine tight.

Not just a little briused or battered,
When I think of the distance it's completely shattered.
We'll never give up or say goodbye.
Remember together, the moon in the sky.
Your heart's a part of me and mine of you.
With that alone, we shall not be blue.

Lets be sincere here, Asian girls are pretty and sexy creatures. I won’t be surprised if you have once held a secret desire to date Asian girls before of if you even still have such a desire. If you are not an Asian you probably know little about Asia and would find the girls even more alluring since their ways seem quite distinct from European girls or girls from other part of the world. This is not to say that they are a different specie altogether but their rich cultural heritage makes them quite distinct in their way of life or behavior. Globalization has brought about a more blending of cultures between different lands but still you just might need some tips on how to date an Asian girl successfully.

Are you among the many who have tried, really tried to date an Asian but can’t seem to get past the first date? Here are some tips that would help you, as you would see the problem has not been her but you and your style.

First tip is that you should not try to date an Asian girl. I mean don’t try the traditional dating moves. A dinner, movie, an occasional goodnight kiss and the no more calls from her. This is what everyone else is doing and it comes with too much pressure, expectations and awkwardness. These is what every one else has been doing with her. Try something easier, cheaper and less conventional. Something like just meeting for coffee, no big set up or preparations. She is less prepared and expectant. The atmosphere is less charged, more relaxed and thus more fun without the usual dating expectations.

Every guy tries that gets a woman or an Asian out on a date tries to impress her with is detailed “rap” or speech moves. The truth is she has heard it all before in many variations and versions. In this case less is more. The less you try to impress her the more the Asian girl is impressed. Try listening to her and getting her talk about herself. All you need is a small degree of interest. This throws her off guard as you are different and challenging, and Asian girls like you challenging.

Do not be Mr. Goody-goody. Be a bit naughty throw in unexpected and mischievous remarks to leave her wondering if you just said that. Do not over do it but do not show her you are over impressed with her looks. Naughty statements and actions leave them wondering more about the kind of guy you are.

Asian girls get a lot of admirers and so you have to be different to leave an impression. Most of them would want to give you little test to see how firm you are. Do not just give in to every one of her whim. Sometimes you can playfully yet firmly resist or refuse her. This is quite a turn on for Asian girls, a guy who takes charge (please don’t over do it)

Believe it or not an Asian girl would rate you more if she discovers you are admired by other Asian girls. So don’t spend all your time with one. Widen out and let them know you are trying to decide and have a lot of admirers. You just would be surprised with he results.

Asians are family bound, if you meet an Asian lady you would likely notice that family bounds are more respected within them. So get to know more about her family. Be interested in her family it sure would boost the possibility of your success.

Honesty is also a quality that is highly respected in the Asian society. A man of honor does not lie and does not abandon his responsibility. If you wish to impress an Asian girl you have to prove to her that you can be such a man of honor.

I believe you are better armed to tackle the next Asian girl that comes along. These tips if properly followed would leave you smiling each time.

Cougars (women in their 40s+ dating men 7+ years their junior) or Pumas (women in their 30’s dating younger men) whatever you like to call them, whether you love or hate them, they are out there. From Halle Berry to Demi Moore they love their younglings, and we’re not talking about their children. Why these women do it? Because they can, they are at their sexual peak and who better than a younger guy to fulfill those needs? They’ve got stamina and that’s all they need. Do you like older women?


What is a cougar?The Unknown Cougar !

The short answer: A cougar is an older woman who is primarily attracted to and has sex with significantly younger men. I have to ask …”and this is wrong and unacceptable, why?” (giggle)

The long answer: The most commonly accepted definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older who exclusively pursues very young men. “Define very” (insert giggle and cougarish grin here) The onset of the cougar years is hotly debated. The ten year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between participants.


Why does this happen?

Is it about sex? A woman sexually peaks at 40 while a man peaks at the age of 17. I think if a woman passes the “age of matrimony”, before she finds an old partner that shares the same passion, she would venture into recreational flavoring of younger men.

Why would men ever be interested in older women? It’s simply because they are attracted to the confidence and sexual experience of older women and there are no strings called commitment attached.

Older, single women have been dubbed "cougars" for a reason: they're felines (females) who hunt younger men. As such, cougars are an interesting and unusual breed of women. They seem to want what men want: sex with no strings attached.

In that respect, they seem almost like the female counterpart of The Player: The Playerette. However, the cougar and the playerette have some key differences.

Read on to learn these differences and get some tips to help you make the most of these great creatures.

Typically, cougars prey upon men almost young enough to be their sons. Fortysomething cougars would be attracted to men in their 20’s, and fiftysomething cougars would pursue men in their 30’s and so on. Some cougars are less interested in a relationship than a sexual conquest, perhaps enjoying the fact that they are physically appealing to men who are considered to be in the prime of their virility. Again I ask …”and this is wrong and unacceptable, why?” and I’m giggling…What I didn’t know was that a cougar can be married or unmarried.Ashton Kutscher & Demi Moore

Although the term ‘cougar’ comes from the big game predatory cat of the same name, the cougar connection also may allude to the wearing of animal print clothing by older and more sexually aggressive women. How many of you just stopped to think if they have been sighted wearing animal print lately? I know I just mentally scanned my closet, phew I’m good.

In my opinion we are hearing more about older women with younger men because people in general have become more accepting and desensitized with just about everything in life. Women are financially independent and are looking for fun with no complications or expectations. Not to say that dating a younger man doesn’t come with complications.


Types of cougars

First off, we must understand that there are certain types of cougars.

Cougar Type 1- The type of cougar that hooks up with young athletic-types (think Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham). She may settle for a less physical, more suave catch, but the point is, she thinks like a man in that she's looking for the hottest-looking guy she can get -- the female equivalent of a guy meeting the Swedish bikini team.

Cougar Type 2- The confused cougar that looks for easy sex, but really seeks a relationship man. She'll tart herself up and come on strong, but right around the time things start to get intimate -- either shortly before or after you know her in the biblical sense -- she reveals herself to be a seeker.

Tread carefully and don't get caught with type No. 2.

how to spot a cougar
Appearance:

* She dresses quite suggestively, often younger than her age -- she wants desperately not to look middle-aged.
* Her clothes will generally be tight or low-cut -- anything to make a guy notice her. From afar she might look like a young hottie, which gets guys to approach. Get close, see the wrinkles and makeup, and her true age becomes apparent -- but by that time she's already being flirtatious and has lured you into her lair.
* She'll often be a smoker (cigarettes are a sexy prop, and "got a light?" is a good approach) who dies her hair (blonde is most popular) and dolls herself up (seems to be sponsored by Revlon).
* They often hang out in groups, acting as wingwomen for each other. On the other hand, given their considerable experience and resulting confidence, they will not wait for their friends to hit the bars. Logistically, it's easier for an easily picked-up woman to fly solo.

Her behavior is much more forward...

Asking a man out is no easy feat. It's up there along with one of Hercules' ten tasks, even including the one where he has to tame Cerberus, the hound of hell.

This is because to do something this bold, one must have self-confidence in oodles…and confidence is as they say, rare as diamonds.

One thing that's important is to keep in mind that you must have realistic expectations. That means that when you set your sights on someone, don't aim for the impossible.

Movie stars, musicians, sports celebrities - these are people that are nearly as out of reach as the planets in our galaxy. Likewise, someone who's taken, be they dating, engaged or married should be firmly put in the friend box. It's not just good manners, consider it accumulating healthy karma as well.

If you're 15 and the boy you're after is 24, don't go there. It brings nothing but misery and a nasty lawsuit if you get caught. Not to mention that any guy who goes after underage chicks is a dodgy b*stard who should be dobbed in to the police.

Likewise, anyone who has a known history of violence, commitment phobia, sleeping around or collecting broken hearts on a string should be steered clear of. That's just common sense.

Right, but say you've found a boy. He's lovely - kinda quiet, gets carried away when he talks about soccer and his dog, makes a mean curry, shows you his collection of books (and they're not all just a front for his porn)… in short, someone who has potential - how do you get up the guts to do it? It all goes back to confidence.

Confidence is simply the ability to be positive about yourself and the outcome of a situation. You need to make sure that whatever happens, whatever his answer is, you can tell yourself that you are able to handle it.

At the same time, you should know that nothing he says is a reflection of you as a person. In other words, don't take it personally. If you can't bear the thought of rejection, then perhaps you'd be better off not asking someone out… because there's always a risk of that when something involves another person.

So say you've talked yourself into that frame of mind, it's the right time, the mood is romantic, you're standing in front of him, he's smiling into your eyes and you're not sure but damn… the sunlight by the photocopy machine makes him look fine… just do it.

And don't beat around the bush either. Most people, men and women, aren't good at reading between the lines - they either get it wrong, or don't get it at all.

You need to make it plain in the simplest terms possible, spell it out if you will, that you're asking them out. "Frank, if you're not doing anything this weekend, do you want to go out with me?", or "Frank, how about catching a movie with me this Friday?" or "Frank, if you don't go out with me you're a fool and you're missing out on the greatest thing since sliced bread".

You get the picture. The thing is to make it clear to them that you want to hang out, just the two of you (this part is important - you don't want him to bring his sister or his mate Sarah along), and that this is a getting to know you process.

Be cool. Don't build it up too much in your head. It's nice to imagine scenarios and being that kind of girl myself, I know what it's like - but be sure to tell yourself firmly that this is only in your head. In reality, you haven't even gone on a date yet.

But say he says no, what then? At least you gave it a shot and hey - isn't it better to know in the long run? Your ego might get a bit bruised, but you'll survive and have experience to draw on for next time. This is the kind of stuff that gets easier with practise. Just remember - if you don’t make a big deal of it, he won't… and he'll most likely be flattered and go along with it out of curiosity.

The things worth having in life don't come easy. Sometimes, you really have to struggle for them. And the first step you can take towards a relationship starts with a simple "Hi, I think you're pretty cool. Will you go out with me?"