Dating & Relationships

Ever feel like everyone has met their match but you? Not to worry! Your perfect guy is out there -- here're some tips on how to meet him!

1. Don't make yourself over. If you've been without that someone special in your life for a while, you may be thinking that there's something wrong with you. So, you decide to lose weight, gain weight, change your hair, buy new clothes, hang out with different people. But all that effort can lead to more disappointment when the "new" you doesn't get the guy. Your best bet? Be yourself. You're great the way you are. And, believing that makes guys see you as confident and attractive.

2. Socialize. If you want to meet a guy get out and circulate. Seriously. How're you supposed to meet anyone if you're home watching TV? Also, when you're out meeting people, keep this statistic in mind*Studies have shown that the majority of people are emotionally compatible with only about one out of 25 people. So, the odds that the first guy you talk to at a party is the guy for you are slim. There's no need to be disappointed. Just talk to as many different guys as you can. You'll get a better sense of the type of guy you gravitate toward. What's the best way of going about meeting lots of guys? Here are some strategies for socializing:

Join school clubs or sports teams. Whether it's volleyball, the school paper or the debate team, the beauty is that you'll meet new people with interests similar to yours!
Consider getting a part-time job. You never know who'll be working along side you*plus, the extra $ couldn't hurt!
Get involved. Sign up for the school/church car wash, bake sale or canned food drive. You'll interact with new people and benefit a good cause in one fell swoop.
3. Expect a first date to be awkward. So, you've met a guy you think is nice and you're planning to go out. Don't be surprised if you experience the dating equivalent of stage fright. You may become tongue-tied, after all, you want to impress him. You may feel that you need to keep the conversation rolling. Any pauses or silences can feel awkward. Don't worry. Chances are, he's feeling the same way. So, what to talk about? Ask him about himself, his favorite classes, his family. Try to ask open-ended questions that need more than a one-word response (Why do you like The Rock best?). As for where to go on your date, you may want to attend a sporting event or head to the local mall, someplace where there are lots of people, sights and sounds to comment on. That way, if things become really awkward you'll have something else to focus on.

4. Recognize that being in a relationship involves a lot of work. Contrary to what romance novels and sappy teen movies depict, love at first sight is rare. But you can increase the odds of knowing that a guy is right for you if you know what it is you want in a guy! What traits does your ideal guy have? What are some that you wouldn't be able to tolerate? Create a dream guy on paper. While a guy may not meet every requirement on your list, you will be able to get a better sense of whether or not he's right for you. It's certainly easier to find what you want if you know what you're looking for!

5. Trust your intuition. Attraction is based on chemistry. If you feel really uncomfortable around a particular guy, don't continue to date him thinking things will change. Ask yourself some questions. Do you feel you can trust him? Does he value your opinions? Does he treat you with respect? If you answer "no," rethink whether or not he's the one for you. Don't waste your time with someone who isn't up to your standards.

6. Don't ignore your friends. Your best friends can be a real asset when it comes to meeting guys. Set some guy-meeting goals. For example, one week you can challenge each other to say hi to five guys. The next week, dare each other to ask one out. And, of course, you can always turn to your friends for guy advice and feedback - remember though that they're not experts either and that you need to trust your gut.

7. Be enthusiastic. Continue to stay involved in school clubs and activities that are important to you. Guys like girls who get involved in life, not girls who are solely involved in getting a guy!

8. Take it slowly. Be sure you really get to know a guy before things get serious. If he can't wait to get intimate, his interest in the relationship may have more to do with sex than you. Remember this above all else: A guy who really likes you*will be there whether you're sleeping with him or not.

9. Don't forget to have fun! You may need to meet lots of guys before you meet the right one for you, but you'll learn a lot in the process. Even though the statistics show that out of 25 guys, you're only likely to click with one of them, the other 24 guys are likely to be nice people, just not your type. Plus, they may be friends with the guy who the one for you! Take some advice from the people who care about you the most. Your family and friends have made clear that you deserve the best. There's a lot to be gained by taking time to find the right guy and seeking out a guy who will appreciate you! The guy for you is out there*get ready to meet him!

In every relationship, there is a level of closeness and comfort level we share with a person. The love we share with our closed ones is dependent on a number of factors. However, when we are faced with problems which have a mighty effect on our relationship, aspects of our relationship may take a different turn.

All of us, in some way or the other believe that every relationship should be perfect like the continuation of a Prince Charming meeting his beauty and living happily ever after. We all believe in the ideal institution of love and romance. With times, the concept of love has taken a very different turn. It is not just the Casanovas or women with loose characters who tell every guy they meet that they love them but people with past relationships also have uttered idealistic words which may no sense over a period of time. The ideal of love has not any Mills and Boon teenage love story in today's world. There is much more to it.

Relationships today are based on survival and adjustment. These two words may send a chill across your spine. However, this is the new definition of love sandwiched with keeping the notion of love alive and dealing conflicts is a new way of communication.

Conflicts in love is a part and parcel of every relationship shared by two people. The severity of conflicts depend on our own weaknesses and shortcomings and in those of our persons we have chosen to be with. At first, we are tuned to looking at our love relationship through rose tinted glasses but over a period of time, when the passion or madness of being in love with your mate ceases, our true selves emerge on the fore making it difficult to make any relationship work. Couples have conflicts on many areas such as keeping the friendship of an ex- flame , lack of financial resources for basic sustenance, infidelity and lack of sexual pleasure emerging from sexual intercourse.
If you look closely into many failed relationships, lack of communication seems to be the number one threat to jeopardize any relationship. To better your relationship, communication is extremely crucial. The Shakespearean tragedy Othello serves as an appropriate example to illustrate this point . Conflicts in their own way serve as a means for speaking our heart out on issues and helps in solving problems. Healthy conflicts is a must in every relationship if you do not use weapons to wage marital or love wars. Having arguments and coming to a healthy conclusion of making your loved one happy is essential for happiness. After resolving differences with your loved one, share your love with some great love making!

There's a little bit of "Peanuts" love-struck Charlie Brown in every young man the moment he catches sight of his first little red-haired girl and realizes he's in love. His palms sweat, his voice goes into a definitive squeak, and he finds that he'd rather wear a lunch sack over his head than risk the humiliation of being turned down for a date.
If there's a special girl at your school, church or where you work that you have been wanting to get to know, here's some reassuring news to make you feel better: chances are that she's just as anxious about it as you are.


No one likes to be rejected. Why? Because it makes them feel as if something is personally wrong with them instead of the reality that it's the circumstances themselves that just don't make for a good match.
In taking the bold step of asking a girl out for the first time, the following guidelines will ease the pressure and increase your odds for an enthusiastic "yes!"

IS SHE AVAILABLE?

Much as young men might wish it to be otherwise, not every interesting or dazzling young lady on the planet is walking around unattached and available. She may already be seeing someone else. She may be a studious type who isn't dating anyone because she wants to focus on her education. Perhaps she comes from a family that has either forbidden her to date until she is older or does not want her to date someone outside their faith or ethnicity. Maybe it is the awkward scenario that her father owns the place where you both work or maybe her mother has had a longstanding spat with your mom. As long as both of you are minors and living under the house rules of a parent, rocking the boat will only add to the friction and make it difficult to pursue a more serious relationship.

In order to find out if the object of your affections is available, you need to hone your observation skills, pay attention to who her friends are, and, if need be, recruit an intermediary who knows both of you. Many a high school or youth group romance, by the way, has been nudged along by helpful matchmakers. In the event you learn that she is not available to go out with you, build a bridge and get over it. There is no reason why you can't be friends with this girl. If you are only doing it as a means to break up her existing relationship or cause problems with her family, however, you will be doing both of you a favor to look elsewhere for a date to the dance.

DOES SHE SEEM TO LIKE YOU?

Does she smile every time she sees you? Does she find excuses to strike up a conversation? Does she ask for your help with the French fry machine or comment on the minister's last sermon? These are clues that she wants to know more about you. Even if it doesn't lead to the great romance of the millennium, never discount the value of having sincere, fun and trustworthy friends of the opposite sex to talk to and spend time with. Think of it this way: sparks may not ignite with this particular young woman but she may have a roommate or a cousin visiting from Seattle who would be perfect for you.

COMMON GROUND

The fact that you attend the same school, go to the same church, or work the same shift at the pizza parlor already gives you plenty of stuff in common. If you're too tongue-tied to pop the date question, spend a couple weeks leading up to it with casual chit-chat. Ask her if she's seen a particular movie or what she thought of the last assignment in Mr. Carlson's history class. Compliment her on her appearance. Ask her opinion about a new CD that just came out. Make her laugh.

As your comfort level increases, pay attention to the clues she is communicating in response. Example:

YOU: Have you seen that new scary movie with Hugh Jackman?

HER: Not yet. I really want to but none of my friends want to go.

Hello? In case you weren't paying attention, she just handed you the perfect opening to say, "Maybe we could go see it together."

Always keep in mind that girls don't want to get turned down any more than boys do. Accordingly, they dance around the issue in the hope that the boys they like will get the hint. They're also not shy about letting boys know their likes and dislikes. For instance:

YOU: My brother's getting me tickets to the Monster Truck Smashatravaganza.

HER: (rolling her eyes) Those shows are so totally juvenile.

In the event that you happen to think that Monster Truck Smashatravaganzas are the ideal date, you will either need to find something different that both of you would enjoy together or find a girl who likes this type of entertainment as much as you do.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Never wait until the day of the event to ask someone if they'd like to go to it (i.e., the afternoon of the Senior Prom). What this tells the girl is that she probably wasn't your first choice. Even if she really was, these last minute tactics will come off as if someone else dumped you and you are desperate.

Planning a date in advance gives her the chance to decide what to wear, get someone to cover her shift, or just daydream in anticipation.

It's also crucial that you never ask a girl out in front of other people. If you do, one of several things will happen. She may say yes just to keep from embarrassing you, then turn around and tell you no and never to do that to her again. She may be excited and say yes, then regret that she has made your date first-page news and the ongoing object of unwanted gossip. She could also give you a flat no, an awkward moment which is compounded by everyone else witnessing it and labeling you a loser.

Pick a time when the two of you have some privacy. For instance, it could be a walk home from school or a break at the concession stand. While you can also resort to a phone call or an email, do you really want to trust to technology something as significant as a first date? What if there's a server glitch or the battery on your cell phone chooses that precise moment to die? Besides, girls really do like to be asked in person. If you must resort to something less traumatic than talking, an old-fashioned note is a sweet way to go.

HAVE A PLAN

If you're asking a girl to a dance, there's pretty much a clear understanding that dancing will be involved. If, however, you only ask if she wants to go out on Friday, she has no idea if you mean bowling, the movies or dinner at a nice restaurant. Have a plan in mind, as well as a specific time and whether you will pick her up or meet her somewhere. Oh, and make sure you have the funds to pay for this unless there is an agreement in advance that the two of you are going Dutch. Whatever time you have agreed to, be punctual. (It makes a good impression and shows that your word can be trusted.) Never, ever cancel a date unless it is a legitimate emergency. Word travels fast in social circles, no matter what age you happen to be. If you lie to her, it is a sure thing that she will find out about it. She will also tell her girlfriends and they won’t want to go out with you, either.

DON'T RUSH THINGS

Even if you're certain that this is the person you want to spend eternity with, a first date isn't the time to tell her that you have already picked out a house and the names of your six children. The purpose of a date is to have fun, get to know them, and decide whether you'd like to see him or her again. Relationships that are rushed are likely to burn out just as fast. You’re still young. Savor the moment. Have a good time. And if all goes well, you’ll have no problem getting a second date with this special someone.

Asking a man out is no easy feat. It's up there along with one of Hercules' ten tasks, even including the one where he has to tame Cerberus, the hound of hell.

This is because to do something this bold, one must have self-confidence in oodles…and confidence is as they say, rare as diamonds.

One thing that's important is to keep in mind that you must have realistic expectations. That means that when you set your sights on someone, don't aim for the impossible.

Movie stars, musicians, sports celebrities - these are people that are nearly as out of reach as the planets in our galaxy. Likewise, someone who's taken, be they dating, engaged or married should be firmly put in the friend box. It's not just good manners, consider it accumulating healthy karma as well.

If you're 15 and the boy you're after is 24, don't go there. It brings nothing but misery and a nasty lawsuit if you get caught. Not to mention that any guy who goes after underage chicks is a dodgy b*stard who should be dobbed in to the police.

Likewise, anyone who has a known history of violence, commitment phobia, sleeping around or collecting broken hearts on a string should be steered clear of. That's just common sense.

Right, but say you've found a boy. He's lovely - kinda quiet, gets carried away when he talks about soccer and his dog, makes a mean curry, shows you his collection of books (and they're not all just a front for his porn)… in short, someone who has potential - how do you get up the guts to do it? It all goes back to confidence.

Confidence is simply the ability to be positive about yourself and the outcome of a situation. You need to make sure that whatever happens, whatever his answer is, you can tell yourself that you are able to handle it.

At the same time, you should know that nothing he says is a reflection of you as a person. In other words, don't take it personally. If you can't bear the thought of rejection, then perhaps you'd be better off not asking someone out… because there's always a risk of that when something involves another person.

So say you've talked yourself into that frame of mind, it's the right time, the mood is romantic, you're standing in front of him, he's smiling into your eyes and you're not sure but damn… the sunlight by the photocopy machine makes him look fine… just do it.

And don't beat around the bush either. Most people, men and women, aren't good at reading between the lines - they either get it wrong, or don't get it at all.

You need to make it plain in the simplest terms possible, spell it out if you will, that you're asking them out. "Frank, if you're not doing anything this weekend, do you want to go out with me?", or "Frank, how about catching a movie with me this Friday?" or "Frank, if you don't go out with me you're a fool and you're missing out on the greatest thing since sliced bread".

You get the picture. The thing is to make it clear to them that you want to hang out, just the two of you (this part is important - you don't want him to bring his sister or his mate Sarah along), and that this is a getting to know you process.

Be cool. Don't build it up too much in your head. It's nice to imagine scenarios and being that kind of girl myself, I know what it's like - but be sure to tell yourself firmly that this is only in your head. In reality, you haven't even gone on a date yet.

But say he says no, what then? At least you gave it a shot and hey - isn't it better to know in the long run? Your ego might get a bit bruised, but you'll survive and have experience to draw on for next time. This is the kind of stuff that gets easier with practise. Just remember - if you don’t make a big deal of it, he won't… and he'll most likely be flattered and go along with it out of curiosity.

The things worth having in life don't come easy. Sometimes, you really have to struggle for them. And the first step you can take towards a relationship starts with a simple "Hi, I think you're pretty cool. Will you go out with me?"

This post is talking in general this certainly isn’t true for every man. The interesting topic of debate lately has been whether making love before marriage can cause the relationship to fail. So you love this girl and you guys have been dating for about a year now but She hasn’t been intimate with you. Most girls will take the sexual relationship slow for fear that should you decide to turn your back on her for marriage then things may be different. Some girls in the name of love and being totally emotional will actually make love with their guy before marriage. Society would look as this as Tabbo. The question here is why should only a girl have to worry about the love making process. Why should guys not have the same border lines. Do guys still want their wedding night to be with the so called Pure person?

If your answer is YES then please respect your girl’s wishes and make sure never to ask her to make love to you till the day you get married. Also make sure that you don’t indulge in any sex activity prior to marriage. Its suppose to be scared and for that special someone. If you are in love and know for a fact that she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with then by all means go ahead but keep your promise of marriage.

The next point to note is that if a girl does have sex before she gets married we should not look down on this person. Sex is not the only valid point for a human to exist, a lot of factors need to be taken into account. There are guys who love sex and would do it with any and everyone, then there are guys who are timid and shy but are faithful to the nth degree, there are guys who may not look good but have a heart of gold, while you could find guys who look good but don’t give a damn about others.

The same way you have girls who show they are innocent and speak with a sweet voice and guys fall for this, these girls in fact could be having a relationship with more than one guy but who would guess right? then you find girls who appear to be very forward and guys get the wrong impression, these girls could have a heart of gold and would go to any degree to help out a friend, so don’t make judgments of love depending on when a person made love.

Instead love a person for who they are and for what you are receiving and giving in a relationship. Create a bond that is spiritual and based on friendship rather than sex. If you can achieve this in your relationship and look at people through a refresh mentality, it will take you to higher heights

All the best!!!!

Why women cheat?

Do you know why your wife or girlfriend is cheating on you?. Nowadays there are more and more cheating wives, cheating girlfriends, cheating spouse out there. The differences in men and women cheating is that men often cheat for physical reasons while women often have emotional reasons for cheating on their partner. The reasons why women cheat include loneliness, revenge, boredom and self esteem and more . These factors may be inexcusable but they do exist in the minds of a cheating woman. More and more women are becoming guilty of cheating on their partners and it is often emotional reasons rather than lust that drive them to these affairs.
Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs and cheat on their partner


Of course she wanted to be the sex kitten when Men were still plying her with compliments, planning romantic dinners, and surprising her with smooth sex moves. But now that Men think Men don’t need to buy her dinner to get her in bed, she’s wondering if she can’t do a little better than Men.


Although it sounds contradictory that they should feel lonely because the women are currently in a relationship, it is often a relationship that is not emotionally fulfilling. Women involved in these unsatisfactory relationships may feel as lonely if not more so than women who are not in a relationship. If a woman is not receiving the attention she feels she deserves in a relationship, she may be tempted to seek that attention elsewhere and become involved in an affair. A partner who becomes overly involved with his work or a hobby may not make time to spend with his partner and this often results in the women feeling as if they are all alone. This feeling of loneliness can drive a woman to cheat on her partner. One of the most prevalent reasons why women cheat is that they feel as though their current partner is not lavishing much attention on them and they feel lonely even in his presence.
Revenge has also become and increasing factor in why women cheat

Men got busted banging some other babe and now the gal wants to get even. Sadly, some chicks see the infidelity as a "get out of jail free" card that lets her indulge her own cheatin’ heart without the consequences. There’s a simple prevention method here: Don’t cheat. And if Men do, Men’d better be unwaveringly reassuring in the feelings of remorse and reform. And maybe buy her something expensive and sparkly.

The modern woman is no longer willing to sit back and accept the fact that their partner may cheat on them. If a woman confirms or even just holds a suspicion that their partner is cheating on them, they may be driven to engage in an affair of their own as an act of revenge. The theory of, “An eye for an eye,” has unfortunately trickled down into the realm of romantic relationships and many women see a cheating partner as a justification to have an affair of their own. They believe that they are justified in having an affair if they catch their partner cheating on them. Furthermore they may be extremely hurt by their partner’s actions and seek a way to hurt them in the same way. While it is not a justifiable reason, many women see revenge as an appropriate reason for cheating on their spouse.
Boredom may also factor into why women cheat

Their current relationship may have fallen into a rut and lost the excitement that it possessed in the early stages of its existence. They may feel that their relationship has become dull and predictable and rather than trying to bring excitement into their current relationship they may pursue affairs in the hopes of achieving the excitement they felt when they first became involved with their partner. While an affair may bring about a temporary solution of making the woman feel excited about love again it may ultimately destroy both their current relationship as well as their cheating relationship. An affair is exciting not only because it involves a relationship with a new person but also because it involves sneaking around and ultimately getting away with doing something wrong. To many women this is very exciting and they are willing to risk losing their relationship over their affair. Many women cheat because they are bored with the monotony of their current relationship and they seek to bring excitement back into their life through engaging in an affair.
Another reason why women cheat is a lack of self esteem

Women may feel that they are not getting an adequate amount of admiration from their partner and they may be tempted to cheat to affirm that they are still attractive and desirable. When a relationship meets a stagnant point where the partners are no longer making a conscious effort to reassure each other that they are still desirable, many women begin to feel insecure. This insecurity leads women to seek affirmation of their desirability outside of the relationship in the form of an affair. Being found desirable by another compensates for the lack of longing they feel from their partner and helps to boost their self esteem. While women with a healthy self esteem are more apt to remain happy in a relationship, those that lack self esteem are often driven to cheat on their partners.
And, some other reasons why women cheat on men

Men Changed…Or the Relationship Did

Men got meaner. Or messier. Or suddenly decided that getting the lazy butt off the couch long enough to grab another beer from the fridge was suitable exercise for the day. While it’s good to feel comfortable in the relationship, it doesn’t give Men permission to let theself go. Unless Men want to let her go.

The Grass is Greener

Just like she’ll cheat on her diet to taste that eclair, she might be tempted to treat herself to that tasty new guy in her office just because he’s there and looking delicious. Maybe she’s bored. Or maybe he’s really the man of her dreams. (Hey, we said we’d tell Men why women cheat; we didn’t say Men’d like all the reasons).

She’s Just Evil

Some babes are just always looking out for the better deal. She could get off on the illicit thrill of flirting with the forbidden; she could just like toying with nice boys like Men. Either way, the solutions are clear. Dump the dame or resign theself to frequent screenings for STDs.