How to ask a guy out.

Asking a man out is no easy feat. It's up there along with one of Hercules' ten tasks, even including the one where he has to tame Cerberus, the hound of hell.

This is because to do something this bold, one must have self-confidence in oodles…and confidence is as they say, rare as diamonds.

One thing that's important is to keep in mind that you must have realistic expectations. That means that when you set your sights on someone, don't aim for the impossible.

Movie stars, musicians, sports celebrities - these are people that are nearly as out of reach as the planets in our galaxy. Likewise, someone who's taken, be they dating, engaged or married should be firmly put in the friend box. It's not just good manners, consider it accumulating healthy karma as well.

If you're 15 and the boy you're after is 24, don't go there. It brings nothing but misery and a nasty lawsuit if you get caught. Not to mention that any guy who goes after underage chicks is a dodgy b*stard who should be dobbed in to the police.

Likewise, anyone who has a known history of violence, commitment phobia, sleeping around or collecting broken hearts on a string should be steered clear of. That's just common sense.

Right, but say you've found a boy. He's lovely - kinda quiet, gets carried away when he talks about soccer and his dog, makes a mean curry, shows you his collection of books (and they're not all just a front for his porn)… in short, someone who has potential - how do you get up the guts to do it? It all goes back to confidence.

Confidence is simply the ability to be positive about yourself and the outcome of a situation. You need to make sure that whatever happens, whatever his answer is, you can tell yourself that you are able to handle it.

At the same time, you should know that nothing he says is a reflection of you as a person. In other words, don't take it personally. If you can't bear the thought of rejection, then perhaps you'd be better off not asking someone out… because there's always a risk of that when something involves another person.

So say you've talked yourself into that frame of mind, it's the right time, the mood is romantic, you're standing in front of him, he's smiling into your eyes and you're not sure but damn… the sunlight by the photocopy machine makes him look fine… just do it.

And don't beat around the bush either. Most people, men and women, aren't good at reading between the lines - they either get it wrong, or don't get it at all.

You need to make it plain in the simplest terms possible, spell it out if you will, that you're asking them out. "Frank, if you're not doing anything this weekend, do you want to go out with me?", or "Frank, how about catching a movie with me this Friday?" or "Frank, if you don't go out with me you're a fool and you're missing out on the greatest thing since sliced bread".

You get the picture. The thing is to make it clear to them that you want to hang out, just the two of you (this part is important - you don't want him to bring his sister or his mate Sarah along), and that this is a getting to know you process.

Be cool. Don't build it up too much in your head. It's nice to imagine scenarios and being that kind of girl myself, I know what it's like - but be sure to tell yourself firmly that this is only in your head. In reality, you haven't even gone on a date yet.

But say he says no, what then? At least you gave it a shot and hey - isn't it better to know in the long run? Your ego might get a bit bruised, but you'll survive and have experience to draw on for next time. This is the kind of stuff that gets easier with practise. Just remember - if you don’t make a big deal of it, he won't… and he'll most likely be flattered and go along with it out of curiosity.

The things worth having in life don't come easy. Sometimes, you really have to struggle for them. And the first step you can take towards a relationship starts with a simple "Hi, I think you're pretty cool. Will you go out with me?"