Depression and Breaking Up

Every relationship has an end. But though we all know this little grain of truth, it does not lessen the pain when you have to say goodbye to someone or to a relationship.

Becoming depressed after a break up is but normal. In fact, only the insane can stay happy after such a devastating blow! Who would not be sad when the relationship that you have nurtured for so long ends? In a break-up, you are not only losing someone you love, you are also losing the sense of being a couple. There will also be the constant reminders of friends and acquaintances who have been used to seeing you together.

This is perhaps the wrong perception that people should try to change. It is normal to cry when you have gone through a break-up. It is normal to feel sad, to want to mope around and just stay in bed and eat ice cream all day. It is normal to reminisce on the days that you have shared together and remember the happy times. It is normal… up to a certain period.

If you have been depressed for years now, then that is not something that you should still consider normal. People need time to cope with their emotions. They need time to heal and to make sense of what has so suddenly changed in their lives. They need time to pick up the pieces of their lives and gather the broken pieces of their heart once again. But hearts do not remain broken. People do recover from a failed relationship. They move on. They live and love again. If, however, you have not recovered for months now and it is starting to affect your professional and social life, then it is time to rid yourself of the thought that it is normal and then call a psychologist immediately. You might be dealing with a full-blown depression or if not, on the verge of doing so.

Teenagers are especially vulnerable to depression after a break up perhaps because in addition to coping with the stress of a failed relationship, they are also going through a lot of changes in their lives. Teenagers are also more emotional and less able to handle their feelings well. This inference was supported by a clinical study that was published in 1999 in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology. The study found out that one out of five teenagers suffers from depression after a break-up.

Teeners who have had relationships in the past are also more likely to suffer from depression than people who never had any relationships at all.

Among the symptoms that depressed people experience are inability to sleep, anxiety over a lot of things, excessive worrying, inability to concentrate, lack of appetite, feelings of hopelessness, loss of motivation, and deep sadness. Some people will even have suicidal thoughts although only a few would actually kill themselves. These people will suddenly lose their interest in things and in their work. They will stop doing the things that they usually do. They will stop doing the things that they used to love doing. They will even stop hanging out or talking with friends.

Usually, doctors give people who have gone through a breakup two months to cope with the situation. If after two months, they are still not over the break-up and has not yet recovered, it is best that they consult a psychologist. If psychologists make them feel awkward, they can always call telephone crisis lines or call their friends for some counseling sessions. Joining online community groups that are composed of people who are also suffering from the same dilemma can also help you heal.

Talking it out is the best way to help people heal after a breakup. This is the time when you need the support of your friends and your family. Finding a diversion can also help a lot. In fact, people who have gone through break-ups would immediately start a new hobby or enroll in a new class. Learning something new can fill up your time and will be a great way to also forget what happened. What is more, starting a new hobby can also help you meet new friends and perhaps a new love.